What is “Self-Care”?


Is it manicures and massages? Is it silence and meditation? Or is it more than that?

Today I’d like to share something with you that I was personally not very good at.

I thought long and hard about even being qualified to write to you about this. I battled the thought of being hypocritical when it comes to telling you should do something that I found hard to do for myself.

Self-care is so much more than pampering your body.

Self-care is allowing yourself to sustain your life.

To figure out what it is you want on a deeper level than what to eat for dinner. The difference lies in the knowing what you should do and the actual doing it.

Self-care and the lack of it are all surrounded by the “should” word. Sometimes knowing what we should do for ourselves get put on the back burner. Sleep for instance is so easily neglected. Romance gets put to the side especially when you have kids. Budgeting your finances goes out the window when there’s no set goals or discipline. Friendships get pushed to the wayside when there’s dinner to be made.

Your connection to God becomes a mere memory when you are rushing through your mornings to get the kids on the bus. When life starts becoming a whirlwind. It’s the big ones that lose the most focus. Your personal internal needs. Your emotional needs. Having the conversations with yourself necessary for your creativity. Your emotional compass gets put in the back of a closet in a box for “later” when everyone else is taken care of.


Self-Care is showing yourself that you love you. Just like you would do something special for the love of your life and want them to be taken care of and shown affection and positive attention. You must be positive with yourself and show yourself that you matter!


There is no one else like you and you are a special soul unique in this world! Give yourself some time and care and respect to help your mindset live as a strong and able person completely loving and confident in all your abilities!


The word sustain has 2 very different and very powerfully meanings.

According to Google the word sustain means:


undergo or suffer (something unpleasant, especially an injury).

“he died after sustaining severe head injuries”

synonyms: undergo, experience, suffer, endure

“she sustained slight injuries”



strengthen or support physically or mentally.

“this thought had sustained him throughout the years”

synonyms: comfort, help, assist, encourage, succor, support, give strength to, buoy up, carry, cheer up, hearten;

informal buck up

“her memories sustained her”





I want you to take note of the first definition. To “undergo, experience, suffer, and endure.”

How close to home does this hit for you? I know for me it was extremely eye opening. I realized that most of my life could be described as one of those awful words. A mantra in my head that went round and round was “this too shall pass.” I was enduring most of my days. But my heart screamed for something more. It screamed to be assisted and supported through life.

Self-Care breaks down into 6 categories.

  • Physical Self-Care
  • Emotional Self-Care
  • Social Self-Care
  • Spiritual Self-Care
  • Practical Self-Care

Each are just as important as the next. Without intentional discipline to nurture and care for, our soul is lacking and “sustaining” the neglect. But trust me I can guarantee you that somewhere this neglect will show up somewhere in your body in different ways. Generally, in your health.

It wasn’t until I started to actually take the time for myself, to honor who I am, what I needed, what I wanted even that things in my life started to take a turn for the positive.

self-care soap

I am a natural giver. Before I make the smallest decision, I want to know what everyone else wants. Than based on that knowledge I will make a calculated decision as to the best choice. With generally no regard for what I want.

This got to be bad. It started to be that we didn’t go anywhere, do anything, watch anything, or even eat anything that I wanted because I was always too busy fulfilling the needs, wants, and desires of every other person in my life. My health, weight, and happiness were at rock bottom. I finally realized that I needed a change.

I think especially as moms, we tend to be this way in most cases. When we are in pain or suffering in some way, we tend to ignore it or neglect it and hope it just goes away.  Everything has an extreme however. Without proper self-care and nurturing of self-worth and personal love and appreciation, we can spiral down a never-ending rabbit hole of personal neglect.

So here’s the question now:


How do I want to go about honoring myself by starting to take time for SELF-CARE!? 🤔

The question isn’t about how or when anymore. It needs to be about how you want to do it.

My challenge for you is to set aside a day or a time that isn’t busy crazy day a day that’s more of a down day for you. Make it a commitment to yourself. A non-negotiable appointment to honor yourself as a woman.

Block to this time out: This is a time for you to ENJOY!

What is it that you enjoy? Getting a massage and your nails done is the perfect way to start. But than go deeper. Is it going to the beach? Getting your hair done? Silence? A love session with your husband? (I know, scheduling romance and sex? But let’s get real; sometimes it’s a necessity) Get a sitter, go on a date, and finish it with a long romantic session in the bedroom. Anything that gives you pleasure.

Is it making a detailed description of what you want your life to look like in 5 years while sitting at a coffee shop sipping a latte?

Do whatever it is that moves you to the front of the line in your life. It’s time to be done with being okay being at the bottom of the totem pole.  We can’t live like that anymore. We shouldn’t live like that anymore. It isn’t benefiting anyone to have you depleted. Are you brave enough to step out of your everyday comfort zone and start sustaining your life in a whole new way?




  1. Thank you so much for sharing. I am a blogger as well. Over the last several months, I feel like every where I turn, there is another post about self-care. While I know self-care is important. Of course, you MUST take care of yourself but I was so so so sick and tired of hearing the same shit over and over and over. Sorry, I was making a point lol And the point is, you did it. You have made an interesting, must-read, unique self-care posts I’m sharing this all over the place.. lol Kudos to you my friend!

    1. Hi Tasha,
      Thank you so much for your comment! I completely agree! Topics jump on the trend train and everyone seems to regurgitate the same ideas over and over!
      Thank you again for your comment!:-)

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